


What Friends Are For

by Justanotherfangirl



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I love my dirty wizard son, Injury, LET CALEB KNOW HIS FRIENDS LOVE HIM 2K18, Please let my son learn to love himself I swear to god, a lil bit of widomauk might make its way in here but well see ;), aka my favorite tag lol, episode 26 who??????, eventually gonna be Caleb and everyone but I don’t wanna clutter up the tags before they show up, might as well call this latest chapter "Chapter 6: Denial", not too graphic but just in case!, pre-episode 26
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-05-21 23:04:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14924535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justanotherfangirl/pseuds/Justanotherfangirl
Summary: It’s been a long time since Caleb had any friends, since he had deserved to have any friends.But with the Mighty Nein, he found himself caring almost in spite of himself.And the Mighty Nein might just care about him too.





	1. Fjord

**Author's Note:**

> Heyoooooo! I love Caleb So Much so of course I had to write about him and his self esteem issues, and the Mighty Nein caring for him :’)
> 
> Hope you like it!

Splitting the party was never a good idea.

Caleb couldn’t stop thinking that thought as the undead he and Fjord were facing sneered at them. The thought played in his mind on repeat as one of the undead that Fjord has missed with his initial eldritch blast slashed him right in the stomach with its spear.

Splitting the party? Never a good idea.

The undead were dispatched quickly enough; all it took was a couple fireballs from Caleb and another eldritch blast from Fjord before the undead were dead once more. Both of them panted, catching their breath.

“We better head back to the inn,” Fjord eventually said. “The others are probably back by now.”

Caleb nodded. The sooner he could pass out, the better.

When Fjord wasn’t looking, Caleb took a moment to take stock of his injury. It wasn’t a deep cut, or particularly long, but as he pulled up his shirt to get a better look, he saw that the skin surrounding the wound had turned a sickly green.

Poison. Well, that was a load of _sheiße_.

“Caleb, ya comin’ or what?” Fjord was already a few feet ahead of him, giving him a quizzical look. Quickly, Caleb pulled his shirt back down and straightened up, hiding the cut as best he could. There was no need to let Fjord know about this; Jester would take care of it as soon as they rejoined the group, and there was nothing Fjord could do about it anyway.

Caleb ignored the dizziness that was already threatening his balance and pushed forward.

They hadn’t come far from the small town they were spending the night in, but to Caleb it might as well have been a hundred miles. He distracted himself by wondering how the others were doing. Jester, Nott, and Kiri had gone to replenish their dwindling supplies, while Beau, Molly, and Yasha explored the rest of the town. They were probably getting bored by now; hopefully Nott had found some trinkets to swipe, and hopefully Beau hadn’t started any fights to try to impress Yasha (she had tried this trick before, and it hadn’t worked, but it seemed to be the only one she had). Molly was probably enjoying butting into the girls’ time together; he seemed to take pleasure in being annoying. Yasha was most likely completely oblivious to both of them. Jester was probably teaching Kiri new curse words, with Nott’s help. Caleb smiled at the thought.

When they had decided how to split up, Caleb had said he wanted to check out the old, mysterious-looking building on the edge of town. It looked like it could have been a library in another life, so of course Caleb needed to see what could be salvaged from it. He had been surprised when Fjord offered to go with him; Caleb hadn’t thought he liked him very much, and Fjord definitely didn’t seem interested in reading. In fact, he might be less interested Beau.

The trip had been as fruitless as it had been awkward; which is to say, extremely so. Fjord appeared almost relieved when the undead creatures attacked and provided a distraction from the obviously doomed search.

It didn’t really matter anyway. Anything of value had long been taken from the place.

Fjord’s voice startled Caleb out of his thoughts.

“Caleb? Are you okay? You look kinda pale.”

Caleb had fallen behind. He tried to speed up a little, but had to hold back a groan when his entire midsection pulsed with pain. His vision blurred at the edges.

“ _Ja, ja,_ I’m fine,” he said breathlessly. His vision was swimming, and every step he took was a dangerous gamble between him and gravity and the spinning in his head. But he could keep going. There was no reason to bring it up.

Fjord took a couple tentative steps forward, then looked back again.

“D’ya need to stop for a minute?”

Caleb swayed. “ _...ja,_ ” he said as he sat down hard on the ground. Suddenly, he was staring up at blue sky, and Fjord was kneeling next to him, pulling up his shirt and cursing.

“Fuck, those spears were poisoned? Why didn’t you say anything?”

Fjord was looming over him, anger plain on his face. _Sheiße_. He had fucked up again.

“I am sorry...” he started, avoiding Fjord’s gaze. “I just thought... we were going straight to the others, and Jester can heal me as soon as we get there...” 

He looked up, gauging Fjord’s reaction. He seemed... upset? Maybe sad? Caleb rushed on.

“There is nothing you can do about it, so there was no use bothering you with it. I... am sorry. I thought I could make it all the way...”

Fjord was still staring at him with some unrecognizable emotion in his eyes. He rubbed the back of his neck, sighing.

“I’m not mad at you, Caleb.”

Caleb breathed a sigh of relief.

“But,” Fjord continued, and Caleb winced expectantly. “You need to tell us these things, Caleb. You-“ he sighed and sat back. He seemed to be choosing his words carefully. “We all worry about you. You don’t have to deal with shit all by yourself, and you can tell us about things that are bothering you. Okay?”

Caleb blinked. This didn’t seem like it was about the poison anymore. “Uh... _ja_ , okay.”

Fjord nodded, seemingly satisfied. “Well, we better getcha back to Jester before you keel over.” He grabbed Caleb’s arm and slung it over his shoulder before hefting him to his feet. The world spun around Caleb once more. He leaned heavily into Fjord’s side, ignoring the discomfort that such close contact brought him.

Their progress was slowed, but they managed to make it back to the inn before the sun went down. Caleb was almost being dragged by Fjord at this point, and Fjord was struggling under the weight. They both collapsed onto one of the beds as soon as they got to Caleb’s room, breathing heavily.

“Caleb!” Nott screeched when they stumbled in. She ran to his side. “Fjord, I told you to protect him!”

Caleb gave Nott a look. “You told him what?”

“I’m getting Jester!” Nott rushed out of the room before he could question her further. 

After a few minutes Fjord sat up, his breathing even. Caleb rolled onto his side to get a better look at him, wincing at the pain in his stomach.

“Thank you, Fjord. For helping me today.”

Fjord shrugged. “Don’t worry ‘bout it. That’s what friends are for.”

Caleb couldn’t help the warmth that pooled in his stomach. He smiled, hiding his face.

“ _Ja._ Friends.”


	2. Jester

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s Jester and Caleb! I like to imagine they’re kinda like siblings :D  
> Let me know what you think!  
> ❤️❤️❤️

Caleb was nervous. To be fair, Caleb was usually nervous, but this was a very specific, focused nervousness.

He had to protect Nott.

He was probably overreacting. There was no guarantee the townspeople would even know Nott was a goblin. But there was a chance, and that risk made his stomach twist anxiously.

They were just a few miles out from the village, a podunk little smattering of residential buildings and a couple necessary shops, when they encountered a group of goblins coming from the village’s direction. They had groups of terrified prisoners with them; dread settled in Caleb’s stomach as he put two and two together and realized the village had been ransacked. They killed the goblins and freed the prisoners, but the damage, it seemed, had been done. 

While the others were resting up, Caleb offered to go scout ahead with Frumpkin to make sure the village was safe for them to stop in (and maybe help the survivors, should they feel so inclined). Jester offered to go with him, seeing as she was the least injured and Caleb was “the squishiest” and would need her help should trouble arise.

So off they went, Jester talking cheerfully in his ear as Caleb borrowed Frumpkin’s senses, either unaware that he couldn’t hear or not caring. Probably the latter.

As Caleb looked through Frumpkin’s eyes he saw the village still smoldering, the remaining people dusting themselves off with fear and distrust in their eyes. A couple made shooing motions towards Frumpkin and he scurried away. Caleb told Jester he didn’t think they should stay in this village tonight; he didn’t hear her response, but assumed she was listening. He felt her hand on his shoulder, guiding him gently. Caleb decided to give the village another quick once over, and told Frumpkin to keep going. He didn’t think it was safe to stay here, but he wanted to make sure they wouldn’t come after the goblins and happen upon their little group. Caleb didn’t want to have to explain to them why they were harboring a goblin; there was no way that would end well-

“ _Scheiße!_ ” Caleb shouted as he tumbled to the ground, pain radiating from his right ankle. He heard Jester’s quick footsteps and then she was beside him, kneeling and stammering apologies.

“I’m so sorry, Caleb! I got distracted, and- oh shit, that doesn’t look good...” she trailed off, glancing at Caleb’s ankle with a wince.

He had tripped over a gnarled tree root that jutted into the path. Apparently, his foot had gotten caught underneath it while Caleb had been looking through Frumpkin’s eyes. He fought back nausea as he saw how his foot pointed at an angle just unnatural enough to be unsettling. It was already starting to swell.

“Ah... _nein_ , it does not,” Caleb agreed. The pain was throbbing up his entire leg, now. He closed his eyes to try to alleviate it somewhat. “Can you heal this for me, Jester? Please?”

She bit her lip. “I used my last spell on Beau when we were fighting those goblins earlier. And I don’t have a healing potion on me.”

Caleb sighed. “ _Ja,_ that sounds about right. Well...” He tried to get to his feet.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Jester yelled, pushing him back down with force that hurt almost as much as the ankle. Caleb blinked at her.

“We have to get back to the group.”

Jester crossed her arms. “What kind of a cleric would I be if I let you limp all the way there with a broken ankle!”

Caleb cocked his head. “Then... I will stay here? And you will get the potion and bring it back?” That seemed a little strange; why would Jester want to make two trips?

Jester just giggled. He must have given her a strange look, because the smile dropped from her face a moment later.

“Oh, you were being serious?” Jester shook her head, exasperated. Then, before Caleb could say anything, in one smooth motion she leaned down and scooped him up in her arms bridal-style.

“What- what are you doing?” Caleb yelped. 

Jester shrugged. “I’m taking you back to the others.”

“But- but, why- you don’t have to-“

”Did you think I would just leave you out here by yourself?” She scoffed. “There’s probably _bears_ out here. I’m not going to let a bear eat you, Caleb, then I would have to waste a whole bunch more spell slots to make sure you didn’t die, and if you did die I’d have to use a whole diamond to bring you back and we really don’t have that many, and besides you aren’t even heavy at all, really, Caleb, you need to eat more, Nott needs to take better care of her boy-“

“I- I mean, could you... carry me on your back, or something? Or- just drag me?” Caleb pleaded.

Jester’s face split into a wicked grin. “Nope! I’m going to carry you like a baby the whole way there!” She booped him on the nose. Caleb blinked, tapping where Jester had poked him, as they started on their way back.

Jester wasn’t lying about Caleb being light: the trip back barely took any longer than the trip there. The whole time Jester chatted idly, talking about Kiri and how cute she was or recapping the most exciting bits of _Tusk Love_. It was almost nice, in a way, if Caleb ignored the throbbing in his ankle and the embarrassment that was sure to come when he was carried into camp like this.

Sure enough, when they came upon the clearing that the Mighty Nein had set up camp in, a chorus of assholes accosted them.

“You get into a fight without us?” Beau yelled, smirking. 

“You should see the other guy,” Caleb deadpanned.

“Caleb got into a fight with a tree and lost!” Jester chirped.

Laughter spread throughout the camp. Even Nott, who had jumped to her feet with a worried crease in her brow when Caleb was carried in, started giggling.

“Betrayal...” Caleb muttered, hiding his face behind his hands. 

“Caleb, I always knew you would be a damsel in distress, but I sorta assumed that _I_ would be your knight in shining armor.” Molly shook his head in mock dismay. “I suppose the best tiefling won, huh, Jester?”

Jester stuck out her tongue. “Caleb is too stinky to be a damsel,” she said as she put him down lightly on the ground.

Fjord sauntered over, still chuckling. “I ‘spose you’ll be needing one a these?” He dangled a healing potion in front of Caleb’s face.

“Please,” Caleb mumbled. “Or you can just kill me. Right now.”

Fjord laughed and handed him the potion, which Caleb downed in a few quick gulps. Immediately the swelling went down, the angry blue and purple bruises fading to a faint yellow. He sighed in relief, twisting his foot a few times and wincing at the slight pull he still felt. He glanced up to see Jester hovering over him, looking uncharacteristically uncertain.

“Thank you for carrying me, Jester,” he said, offering her what he hoped was a friendly smile. It probably looked more like a grimace.

“No problem!” She still looked unsure, so Caleb waited. Jester sighed.

“I’m- sorry, for, you know, not paying attention... and getting you hurt...”

“It really is fine, Jester.”

She sat down next to him with a heavy sigh. “It’s not, though, Caleb! What if next time you get really hurt, and it’s my fault?”

Caleb tilted his head to the side. “Then you’ll heal me. And I’ll be better, _ja_?”

“But I don’t want you to get hurt in the first place!” Jester frowned at him. “I don’t want you to be in pain. You don’t... deserve that.”

She spoke the last part softly, so earnestly that Caleb was taken aback. How much of his self-loathing was visible to the rest of the Nein?

“Thank you,” he said, a little too coldly. Of course, she didn’t know what he was. She would never say something like that if she _knew_.

Jester seemed to realize her words were falling on deaf ears, so she just smiled sadly.

“‘Night, Caleb,” she said, getting to her feet and dusting off her dress. 

“Goodnight, Jester.”

Caleb tried to ignore the feeling of belonging, of, just maybe, being worth the effort to care about, blooming in his chest as he slept that night.


	3. Nott

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry yall, i wanted to get this out yesterday but im at the beach and there was no wifi in the place we were staying and no service so i couldn't use data :(  
> but its here now! hope you like it! i think this turned out pretty well.

Caleb was exhausted. His body ached all over, and he could practically feel the bags under his eyes growing deeper. 

He flopped down on the bed, burying his face in the pillow. At least now, he could fall asleep. He let his eyes slowly close, letting dreams take him-

“Caleb!” Nott’s shrill voice startled him back to consciousness.

“ _Ja! Ja,_ I am awake...” Caleb rubbed the sleep from his eyes and yawned. Nott was standing over him, looking worried. “Is something wrong?”

“You’re bleeding,” she said, pointing at his shoulder where Caleb noticed a dark stain for the first time. Huh. He hadn’t even noticed.

“It is fine, Nott. I must have gotten cut.” He shifted his coat to get a better look through the new tear in the fabric. It didn’t look like much, and it had mostly stopped bleeding. Caleb didn’t understand what Nott was worried about.

“Do you want me to go get Jester?” She asked, shifting from foot to foot.

“ _Nein, Nein,_ she is probably tired, too. I will just sleep this off.”

“If you’re sure, Caleb.” Nott still looked worried, but sat down next to him anyway. “Still, you should at least clean it. Bandage it properly.”

“ _Ja,_ okay.” Caleb tried to push off the bed using his injured arm and couldn’t hide a slight wince. He hoped Nott wouldn’t notice, but by the look on her face he hadn’t been so lucky. She shot to her feet, giving Caleb a stern look.

“It’s obviously hurting! Let me just go get Jester- or, do you have a healing potion left-“

“Nott!” Caleb winced at the volume of his voice; it was louder than he had intended. “Nott, it is really fine. I do not want to bother Jester, and healing potions are expensive. It will be almost healed by morning, anyway. There is really nothing to worry about.”

She thought for a moment, then huffed out a sigh. “Fine. I’ll be right back.” With that, she stomped out of their shared room. Caleb barely had enough time to wonder where in the hells she was going before she was back, several glass vials and bandages in her arms.

“If you’re not going to let anyone heal it, at least let me fix it up for you.”

Caleb blinked. “Ah... okay.”

Nott plopped down next to him and motioned for him to take off his coat. He complied, obediently exposing the cut on his upper arm. She took out one of the vials and rubbed the substance inside into the cut using a piece of gauze. It stung, but Caleb forced himself not to flinch. 

Nott was completely focused on her task. Her tongue was sticking out with concentration as she dabbed slowly and deliberately at the cut. It looked as if she had done this before. Caleb wanted to ask her why, though he had a sinking suspicion that she had had to bandage up her own wounds. The thought made his heart ache too much to ask. 

After disinfecting the cut, Nott smeared something on top of it, probably something of Jester’s that made wounds heal faster or protected them from infection. Then she took out the bandage and started wrapping it around his arm, carefully and quietly. Caleb couldn’t stop looking at her.

He kept seeing his mother.

Caleb blinked and he was back there, in their little house, in his mother and father’s little bedroom. He was crying. Had he been crying before? It didn’t matter because he was crying now, because it _hurt_ , he had burned himself and he knew he shouldn’t have been playing with the fire again and he told his mother so, told her that he was sorry for disobeying her as tears streamed down his face. 

“It’s okay, _mein schatz_ , it’s okay. I know. I know it hurts, _Mäuslein_.”

She wrapped up his hand in a bandage, then kissed it.

“I know you like the fire. I know you want to create fire from nothing, like the brilliant mage I know you will be. But you have to be carful, _ja_? I can’t bear to see you hurting so much, my _liebchen_.”

Caleb nodded, wiping away the tears. “Ok, _Mutti_.”

“Do you promise not to play with fire anymore when _Mutti_ is not here?”

He nodded again, still a little tearful. “I promise, _Mutti_.”

“Caleb?” His mother said. Her mouth turned downwards in worry, and Caleb couldn’t figure out why. “Caleb.”

“Caleb!” Nott’s voice brought him back to the present.

“ _Ja,_ I’m here.” Caleb’s face was wet. “I am here.”

Nott’s face was inches from his. “Are.. are you... okay? You were speaking in Zemnian.”

“ _Ja,_ I just...” Caleb took a stuttering breath, then smiled at her. “You just reminded me of my mother. That is all. I am fine, now. I think... it helps, to remember her, sometimes.”

Nott backed away, letting a shaky smile come to her lips. “Oh. Well, I’m glad. That you’re okay. I’m done with the cut, now.”

Caleb smiled again. It was easier this time. “Thank you, Nott. For taking care of me. Sometimes I forget... well, I do not think I’m worth the effort, sometimes.” He sighed. He hadn’t meant to say that much, but now it hung in the air between them, almost tangible. Then Nott sniffled and pulled him into a hug.

“It’s okay, Caleb! I’ll care enough for both of us!” She was crying now, too, tears tracking through the grime on her face.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, Caleb stroking her hair and Nott burying her face in his chest.

Caleb dreamed of his mother that night, but not of fire. He dreamed of her smiling at him. Caleb woke smiling, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!!! <3


	4. Beauregard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhh this was fun to write!! Lemme know what you think  
> (I’m also really excited for the next one :D)

“Ah, that was a close one, huh, Beauregard?”

Chunks of rock from the rockslide were still falling, accompanied by a thick layer of dust that made Caleb cough. He lifted his head slowly, ignoring its pounding. It was just him and Beau in here. The others were still on the other side.

“Beauregard? Are you alright?” Caleb asked, worried by her silence.

“Ughhhhhhh just gimme five more minutes...” In the dark, Caleb could barely make out a dark silhouette shifting among the rubble. Soon her features came into focus as she got up and made her way over to him, stumbling over rocks and debris. She stretched, and Caleb could just make out the wince on her face as she stretched her sore muscles. “I’m alright. Little bruised. You?”

“ _Ja,_ I am fine-“ Caleb cut himself off with a tiny yelp as he tried to push himself off the ground. A spike of pain shot through his wrist, radiating up to his elbow. He collapsed back on the ground, blinking back tears. “That... might actually be a ‘ _nein_ ’, Beauregard.”

She quickened her pace towards him as he carefully extended his injured arm. Beau squatted down in front of him and grabbed the arm a little too roughly. Caleb bit back a noise of pain.

“Can you move it?” She asked.

Caleb shifted his wrist experimentally and winced. “ _Ja,_ a little...”

Beau frowned. “Take your coat off. I wanna look at your wrist.”

Caleb complied, easing the dingy coat over his injured arm as gently as he could, although his eyes were still stinging with tears as he finally got his arm out of the sleeve. 

“Why do you have all these bandages wrapped around your hands?” Beau asked. “They’re fuckin’ nasty. Have you, like, _ever_ changed these?”

Caleb blushed. “I... not really?”

“That’s so fuckin’ gross!” She pointed to the bandages wrapped around her own wrists. “Seriously, I change these things every day. You know how much blood and sweat gets on these?” She shook her head and started unwrapping the bandages around his wrist to get a better look at the injury.

“Jeez, dude, this is _really_ swollen,” Beau said. “I think you might have broken it.”

“Well, that is just...” Caleb sighed. “Just how these things usually go, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, sounds about right for us,” Beau answered. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

She stumbled a few feet before turning back. “Hey, you think you can give me some light?”

“ _Ja,_ one second...”

It hurt like hell, but Caleb forced his hands to make the motion to summon four globes of light, placing them at the corners of the room. He laid back down, panting from the effort. The rock poked uncomfortably into his back. _Sheiße_ , this sucked.

Beau returned a few minutes later with a few broken pieces of old mining tools, wooden handles from pickaxes and the like. She sat down in front of him and started rummaging through her bag, pulling out some clean bandages.

“I’m gonna make you a splint,” she said by way of explanation. 

“Oh.” Caleb tilted his head. “You... know how to do that?”

“Yeah, they taught us all this stuff at the Cobalt Soul.” She started wrapping his wrist, surprisingly gentle. “We had to patch ourselves up a lot. Especially me. I... tended to go looking for trouble.”

Caleb nodded. That checked out. “What did you learn there? Besides how to punch shit very very good.”

“Mostly fighting techniques, honestly. They might have taught the other monks different things, but I think they realized what my talents were.” She laughed sharply, without humor. “You know. Punching shit very very good.”

“Well, to be fair, you are very good at it,” said Caleb. Beau’s grip on his wrist tightened, and he had to hold back a startled noise of pain.

“I guess, but I might have been good at something else, too, ya know?” She sighed. “I wish I had had a choice.”

Caleb spoke quietly. “What would you have done if you had had the choice, Beauregard?”

She tied a tight knot in the bandages, so tight that Caleb really did yelp this time. “I don’t know! I mean, I always wanted to be, ya know, a good person, I guess... And I sure as hell didn’t want to take over the family business. I mean, being a monk isn’t bad. I think I’m actually pretty good at it. I might have decided to join the Cobalt Soul on my own, without being forced there. But the fact is that I _didn’t_ choose it for myself, it was chosen for me without my permission. And I’ll never know what I would have decided had I been left to myself.” Beau sat back, and Caleb was alarmed to see tears in her eyes. She sniffed, trying to inconspicuously wipe them away. “It just feels like something was taken from me, something I can’t get back, you know?”

Caleb nodded slowly. “ _Ja,_ I think I can understand that. I... have lost a great deal of time. Time that I cannot get back. Time lost to someone else’s whims.”

Beau sighed, still sniffing a little. Caleb pretended not to notice. “Yeah, duh, I’m sorry. I know you have a lotta baggage. I don’t wanna dump mine on you too.”

Sitting up, Caleb shook his head violently. “No, it is no problem! It feels a little bit.. nice, to be trusted. If it helps, you can talk to me, Beauregard. Although I am not the best at this.” Caleb’s mind was screaming at him that he didn’t deserve this trust, that Beau shouldn’t be looking at him with anything approaching the gratefulness that was currently showing on her face. But this was not about him. He pushed the self-hatred down, and, surprising both Beau and himself, took her hand in his uninjured one.

“You can choose your own path, now, Beauregard. And - I may not be the best person to hear this from, but - I think you will do good. Whatever path you choose.”

Caleb forced himself to look her in the eyes; he found them wide, almost dumbfounded. Realizing just how earnest he had been, he felt his face grow hot and quickly looked down. “I- I am sorry, I should not have-“

He was cut off with a startled noise as Beau pulled him into a hug. “You’re the most awkward fucking person I’ve ever met,” she sniffed as he struggled to figure out what to do with his arms. “But thank you. I know you don’t believe it, but it means a lot to me. That you, like, believe in me. Or whatever.” Beau quickly pushed him away, hiding her face. “But if you ever tell ANYONE that I cried I’ll fuckin’ punch a hole in you, got it?”

Caleb smiled. “Of course.”

“Anyway, your wrist’s all splinted up,” Beau said, changing the subject. “Jester can fix it up for your when the others find us.”

“Thank you, Beauregard.” Beau had done a surprisingly good job; it made Caleb wonder just how many times she’d had to patch herself up. 

“‘S no problem,” she muttered. She kicked a rock down the pile, and they both listened as it tumbled to the ground. They sat in silence, Caleb pointedly ignoring Beau’s last few sniffles.

Eventually, Beau sighed and leaned back. “You know, Caleb, I never... I never had many friends, growing up. I was kinda...” she searched for the right word. “...abrasive.”

Caleb snorted. “Why would anyone think that?”

“Shut up.” Beau elbowed him in the shoulder, taking care not to jostle his hurt arm. “I was gonna say something _nice_ for once, so don’t push your luck, asshole.”

Smiling, Caleb waited for her to continue.

“Anyway, I like hanging out with you losers. You’re just as fucked up as I am. Well, MORE fucked up in your case.”

“That is fair,” said Caleb.

Laughing, Beau continued. “I dunno, I just wanted to say... I’m glad I met you guys.”

Caleb nodded, a warm feeling taking root in his chest. “ _Ja._ Me too.”

“And, again. If you tell anyone ANY part of this I kill you instantly,” said Beau casually.

“Oh, _ja_ , totally understandable.”

“Good. Glad we’re on the same page.”

Just then, there was a shifting of rock. “Beau? Caleb?” called Fjord. “Are y’all in there?”

“Yeah, we’re here,” Beau answered. “Just-“

“CALEB!”

Suddenly Nott’s form was wriggling through a small gap in the rock and was on Caleb in an instant, wrapping him in a huge hug. He patted her on the head.

Beau shifted awkwardly. “Uh, how long... how long were you guys... like... right there?”

“We didn’t know where you two had been when the rockslide happened so we didn’t know where to look. We spent awhile hacking at the rock trying to make an opening before we found this little gap!” Nott answered, face buried in Caleb’s coat.

“Oh, good,” Beau said with relief. “I mean. Good that you found us. Yeah.” Caleb laughed softly, earning a warning glare from her.

Before long the others had managed to move enough rock to allow the two of them to pass through. Jester healed Caleb’s arm quickly. Once it was healed, he turned to Beau and gave her a thumbs up, splint and all, before taking off the bandages.

Then they were on their way again. It might have been his imagination, but it seemed that Beau was slowing down to keep pace with him. Neither of them said anything. They just walked along in companionable silence, and for the first time in a long time, the silence didn’t seem awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading as always!!!!! Love these two dysfunctional disasters learning to have friendships :’)


	5. Yasha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely love these two ❤️❤️

Caleb was into his fourth (fifth? Sixth?) mug of ale, and his mind was buzzing pleasantly. He vaguely remembered most of the others trudging upstairs, Nott stopping to pat him on the cheek and mutter something in his ear that he couldn’t remember now. It probably wasn’t urgent. Nothing seemed urgent right now, anyway; everything seemed soft, and nice, and maybe friendly. Caleb smiled at no one and everyone.

“We should probably be getting to bed now, Caleb.” Yasha’s face came swimming into his field of vision. He smiled wider.

“Yasha!” Caleb shouted. He winced; too loud. “Yasha, I’m drunk, I think,” he whispered.

“I think you’re right about that,” she replied in her quiet voice.

Yasha wasn’t drinking anything, Caleb noticed in his addled state. was she staying down here just for him? The thought made him happy for some reason. “You are very very kind, Yasha. I haven’t ever told you that but you are very good.”

“Thank you, Caleb,” Yasha said with an amused smile.

Caleb felt warm. Is this what friendship felt like? He loved his friends so much. “You are a good friend,” he said. “Do you want to dance? I’m out of practice but I can waltz.”

“No, I’ve never danced before,” Yasha said. “I don’t really think I’d be any good at it.”

Caleb grabbed her hand, suddenly, with both of his own. “Yasha,” he said. “Yasha. You’re great. You will be so great at dancing.”

Yasha laughed, but let Caleb hold her hand. “You’re a lot more... tactile when you’re drunk. And talkative.”

He beamed at her. Then, something occurred to him, and he pulled his hand away. “We are friends, right Yasha? I know, I know you said we were but- are we really? I haven’t- had friends in awhile, besides Nott. Is this- is this what it’s like?” Caleb felt the world swaying gently around him, almost like faint hints of memories of his mother when she used to rock him to sleep after a bad dream. 

Yasha looked at him with such a sad look on her face. Caleb felt anxiety bloom in his chest for the first time since his third mug of ale. “Well, to tell the truth-“ 

“Hey, you,” came a gruff voice. Caleb turned to see an angry-looking half-orc stumbling towards them. He was followed by several equally pissed off humanoids, ranging from elf to halfling, all staggering drunkenly. “You. The- the big one. Yeah, you, lady.”

Yasha looked at them passively, not saying a word. The half-orc seemed to take that as an invitation to keep going.

“You- I know your type, I seen the likes a ya on the border. You’re one a them _cricks_ , comin’ in from Xhorhas.” His voice was slurring, almost indecipherable. “I’ve seen ones like ya, lookin’ almost human, but ya can’t trick us Empire folk.” At this point, he spit right in Yasha’s face, earning a few mutters from nearby patrons of the tavern. Yasha, for her part, didn’t flinch. “Get outta our tavern.”

Before Caleb knew what he was doing, he was pushing back his chair and stumbling out of his seat. “Hey! _Arschloch!_ ” Caleb stood right in front of the half-orc, just now realizing that the stranger was a full head taller than him. For some reason, Caleb‘s mind didn’t register that as a problem. “That is _meine Freundin_ you are speaking to, _Arschgesicht_ , and-“ here Caleb had to suppress a hiccup, “-and she is free to drink _wherever_ she likes, so, kindly _Verpiss dich, Scheißkerl!_ ”

Caleb realized two things in the moments immediately after giving this speech. The first was that he had spoken about half of it in Zemnian, which explained the confused look on the half-orc’s face. He realized the second thing as he saw the half-orc’s hand move, revealing an empty glass bottle which rapidly found its way to Caleb’s face, shattering on impact: that he was an idiot.

Then the world got a little blurry, fading to black along the edges. He heard the sounds of people fighting, but was too far gone to process what that meant. Soon, the sounds quieted, and he felt his body shift. Then brief pain, then he was staring at a ceiling, head throbbing. Caleb groaned.

“Ah- sorry, I kind of... carried you up to my room,” Yasha said. “I figured you wouldn’t want to wake up Nott and make her worry.” Caleb realized there was a damp cloth on his forehead. He reached up to push it away, finding that it was stained with blood.

“I tried to heal that up as best as I could, but I don’t really have all that much magic. I thought you could just ask Jester in the morning.”

Caleb nodded, then winced at the pain that shot through his skull. “ _Scheiße_... what happened?”

Yasha shrugged. “After that guy hit you, they tried to start some shit with me.” She grinned. “No such luck.”

“So, you took them all out?” Caleb asked. He tried not to let the awe creep into his voice.

“It was not too hard, and besides...” she paused, considering. “Besides, I was worried about you.”

Caleb snorted. “ _Ja_ , well, I made an utter fool of myself back there, if I remember correctly. So I might not have minded much if I had died, it would have saved me the embarrassment I am currently feeling.”

Yasha laughed, soft and sweet. “I don’t know what you were hoping to accomplish.”

“I have no idea what was going through my mind,” Caleb replied, smiling. “I am not usually one for heroic gestures. Unless I have been drinking, apparently.”

“But...” Yasha started. “But it was... very sweet of you. To do that. I- uh. I haven’t had many friends who would... stand up for me. So, thank you.” She shifted uncomfortably, twisting her hands together. “I was going to tell you that earlier, that I wasn’t used to having friends, before that half-orc showed up.”

Oh. Caleb felt that same warmth from earlier rise in his chest, but this time it wasn’t a result of alcohol. “Oh. _Ja,_ I... ah. I am glad we are friends, Yasha, even though I am not really good at this whole... ‘friendship’ thing.”

Yasha patted his hand awkwardly, a little too hard, but she was trying. “I- yeah,” she said. “I am. Um. Me either.”

They sat in companionable, but still awkward, silence for a few moments. Then Yasha cleared her throat.

“Uh, what were those things you said in Zemnian? I think one was like... ‘arsh-gesit?’”

“Oh, _Arschgesicht_. Yes, that means fuckface.”

Yasha laughed. “I like that! You should teach us some curse words in Zemnian, so we can shout them when we’re fighting as sort of a, you know, psychological blow.”

“That is a very good idea,” Caleb said, grinning. “Do you remember any other words I said? It is a little fuzzy for me.”

She thought for a moment. “I think you said... ‘froy-den?’”

Caleb paused for a moment, his brain switching gears. “I remember that, sort of. I think I called you _meine Freundin_. It means ‘my friend.’”

She furrowed her brow. “So, if I wanted to tell you that you are my friend, I would say... you are ‘mine-a froy-den’?”

He laughed. “Your accent is terrible,” he said, “and _meine Freundin_ is the feminine version. For the masculine version, you would say _mein Freund_.”

“‘Mine froind,’” she repeated carefully. “I like the way that sounds. You are _mein Freund_.”

“Your pronunciation is getting better!” Caleb said, beaming. He was strangely proud of her, like when Nott sent him her first message using the spell he had taught her. “I will teach you some more Zemnian later, if you want.”

“I would like that,” she replied, smiling.

Caleb sighed contentedly. This... was nice. He hadn’t had anything this nice in a long time, it felt like. But now he had Yasha, and Nott, and the others.... he couldn’t remember the last time he had smiled this much. Not in years.

“I should probably sleep, now, though,” he said finally, pushing himself off the bed and ignoring the slight dizziness the motion caused. Yasha noticed, though, and grabbed him by the arm.

“Alright, just don’t pass out on your way over there,” she said, helping him to the door of her room. He gave a small wave as he stumbled into his and Nott’s shared room, careful not to wake her as he collapsed on the bed. There was still a smile on his face as he drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!!! <3


	6. Mollymauk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys................  
> So..........  
> Yeah.  
> I’m sad as hell.  
> I wanted to write some soft content to cope. This was originally gonna be a lot different and gorier and what not, but. This felt right.  
> Hope y’all enjoy and hang in there <3

It was late, Caleb knew that much. In fact, it was almost exactly midnight; even sitting here at a table in an almost empty tavern for hours on end didn’t distract from the steady, comforting ticking in his mind. He was transcribing spells, smiling to himself at the smell of fresh ink and new paper. It always smelled like home, but in a hopeful way.

He had just set aside a finished spell, careful not to smudge the ink, when he reached for a new piece of paper. Caleb gave a little hiss of pain when the paper sliced the flesh on his hand, leaving a sizable paper cut on his index finger.

“Fuck,” he muttered. For a second, he stared at the blood slowly starting to trickle from the cut, mesmerized.

“You alright there, Caleb?”

He looked up, startled, to find Mollymauk smiling down at him. Caleb might have been imagining things, but it looked like he was even flashier than usual. Maybe that was just his eyes adjusting after staring at blank paper for so long.

“ _Ja,_ I’m fine. Just a paper cut,” he said. He resisted the urge to stick the finger in his mouth to clean off the blood.

“Well, you don’t want to get blood all over your ~high quality paper and ink~,” Molly said, still grinning. How did he find the energy to grin like that so late in the evening? The thought only made Caleb frown harder than he already was. “I’ll be right back.”

While he waited for Molly, Caleb let the blood slither it’s way down his finger, across his palm, and toward his his wrist. It was just threatening to drip onto the table when Molly returned with a small bandage.

“From Jester,” he explained. Caleb stared, not speaking, as Molly wiped away the snake of blood that had formed and wrapped Caleb’s finger carefully, so carefully. Molly’s grin never faltered.

“There we go, all patched up and no longer threatening to ruin all your spells with your blood!” Molly exclaimed, clapping his hands together. Caleb expected him to leave after that, and waited for a moment before realizing he was forgetting something.

“Ah- thank you, Mollymauk.” He cleared his throat awkwardly. Was that what he wanted?

“Well, can’t have you dying in battle because your spells are all bloody and illegible.” Molly leaned back, putting his arms behind his head. He didn’t seem to be going anywhere. Molly seemed to notice Caleb’s hesitation, because he laughed. “Go on, then. Keep on writing away.”

But Caleb found his focus waning. He let a smile creep onto his own lips as he said, “you are... a bit distracting, Mr. Mollymauk.”

Molly laughed again. “Oooooh, Mr. Caleb, I didn’t know you knew how to flirt!”

Caleb felt his face go absolutely beet red. “Ah- _nein_. Sorry, I-“

“No, it’s okay, it’s cute.” Molly was still smiling, and Caleb thought that smile must have been glued onto his face permanently. It suited him, though. Caleb could barely imagine his face without it.

“What are you doing, anyway?” Molly asked. Caleb silently thanked the gods that he had changed the subject. “I don’t really understand all this magic stuff. With Fjord he just, ya know,” and Molly mined a shooting motion with his hands, probably mimicking Fjord’s eldritch blast.

“Fjord’s magic is different than mine,” Caleb explained. “I do not know exactly how his works, but my magical abilities all come from what I have learned in books. Even with my almost perfect memory, I have to write down my spells so I can read them exactly as they are written, or else they will not work. That is why when I learn a new spell I have to write it down so I can use it in battle. The words themselves hold power that the caster simply harnesses when they speak the words in the correct way, with the correct intonation. The innate power of the words and the will of the caster combine into one thing, stretching out from the caster's hand, and the result-“

Molly was staring at him, and Caleb noticed a smile had stretched its way across his own face to match Molly's, without his permission. He let it drop and cleared his throat. “Ah, you know... this magic stuff can get a bit complicated. I... like talking about it, though.”

“Oh, I can tell,” Molly said. He was absolutely beaming. “You get this look on your face when you talk about magic. It looks... well, I would say ‘happy,’ if I didn’t know any better.”

Caleb looked at Molly quizzically. “I do?”

“Yeah!” He laughed, and his face was lovely when he was smiling like this. “You look like a child who just got a new puppy.”

Caleb laughed too, at that. “Magic is... incredible. There is so much more to learn, so much more I could do-“ with a start, he looked back down at his paper. He was getting distracted. He was behind. Caleb sighed, then squared his shoulders. “I should... I should finish this.”

Molly’s smile dropped a bit before tilting back up into its proper place. “Of course.” He pushed away from the table and offered Caleb a small salute.

“Don’t stay up too late, Mr. Caleb,” Molly said. “Can’t have our wizard incapacitated tomorrow.”

Caleb nodded, and swallowed down a yawn that was threatening to creep up his throat. “ _Ja_ , okay.”

With that, Molly sauntered up the stairs, leaving Caleb with his thoughts and his paper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway I’m still holding onto the desperate hope that Molly will come back eventually. But until then. I’ll just be sad.  
> I'm probably going to do one more chapter to wrap things up a little bit.  
> Y’all have a good day thanks for reading <3


	7. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> K I’m still big sad about ep 26 so I wrote this ending to cope.  
> They all LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH

Caleb woke to soft voices muttering above him.

“He looks so cute when he’s sleeping! Like a little baby!” That sounded like Jester.

“Yeah, less angsty, for sure,” said Fjord. Caleb could sense a smile in his voice.

“He’s got ink all over his face,” Nott said, and suddenly there was a hand smudging away a spot on his cheek. Caleb suppressed a smile.

“Well... we can’t just leave him down here.” Beau.

Ah. Everything clicked together. He must have fallen asleep while he was transcribing spells again. Caleb hadn’t remembered being sleepy at all. He hoped that he hadn’t messed up his spells when he had fallen asleep.

For some reason, Caleb remained motionless and kept his breathing even. He... wasn’t sure what he wanted, what he was expecting of them. But this felt like a sort of test, maybe for both the Nein and for him.

“Alright, well...” Caleb felt his body shift, and suddenly he was slung over somebody’s back. Judging by the voice and by the muscles in the shoulders, he assumed it was Yasha. She didn’t say anything else as she carried him up the stairs like a sack of potatoes. Caleb could feel the rest of the party following behind.

When they got to his and Nott’s shared room, Caleb found himself flung none too gently onto the still-made bed.

“He really needs to take better care of himself,” muttered a voice. Was that- Beau? He felt her pull the covers up to his chin, and if Caleb didn’t know any better he would call the hitch in her voice concern.

“He’s working very hard,” Nott said proudly. “But-“ She faltered. “I want him to become more powerful than he already is. But, I just wish... I just want him to be nicer to himself, is all.”

That threw Caleb for a loop. Be _nicer_ to himself? He didn’t deserve “nice,” and he certainly didn’t deserve Nott’s pinched voice and worried gaze that he could feel even through his eyelids.

“Yeah, we all do, Nott.” Fjord sighed and cleared his throat. Even Fjord? Caleb felt his head spinning with the concern of these people who he barely even knew. 

A hand patted him softly on the head, and judging from the voice that accompanied it Caleb surmised that it was Jester. “He’s just got a lot of _issues_.” Caleb almost laughed to himself before realizing he would blow his cover. “He forgets that he needs sleep and food and not to get shot by arrows sometimes. That’s what we’re here for! To remind him when he goes off into his big dumb brain!”

Oh. That was almost too much for Caleb to bear. His heart swelled with love, love that he hadn’t allowed himself to feel in awhile, but here, half asleep, surrounded by people who cared about him, Caleb allowed himself to feel again.

“He’s- a bit awkward,” Yasha said. “But... we are friends, now. Whether he realizes it or not.”

When did she- when did Yasha start to feel that way about him? When did all of them? Because he felt their tacit agreement at her words, their silent nods and hums of approval.

“Alright, you saps, keep talking and you’re gonna wake him up.” Finally, Mollymauk, the voice of reason. Caleb heard the others file out of the room, and the door closed softly behind them. Caleb allowed himself a breath out, long and deep and content.

“So, Caleb. Sleep well?”

He froze. Molly was still standing in the room, and Caleb just knew that same smug smile was stretching pleasantly across his face.

“I’m very good at seeing through deception,” Molly said by way of explanation. “Don’t worry, the others didn’t know. And I won’t tell them. This’ll be our little secret.

Caleb finally allowed his eyes to open and found Molly, flashy, gaudy, so very bright, leaning against the closed door. And that smile was there, just as Caleb had suspected.

“... Thank you,” Caleb said. “I... I did not know. They, uh. Felt. Those things.”

Molly grinned wider, if that was possible. “Of course you didn’t. You may have a big brain but you’re just as dumb at people as I am at book smarts.”

Caleb nodded sagely. “I don’t really understand them,” he admitted.

“You don’t have to,” said Molly. “Just like they don’t totally understand you. You can still love them, though. You can still love- us.”

Caleb thought he might cry, though he wasn’t sure why he thought that. “I think- I think you are... my friends.”

Molly was beaming. “You’re learning!” And with that, he patted Caleb on the head, planted a quick kiss to his forehead, and left Caleb alone in the room.

When Caleb drifted back off to sleep, there was a word in his mind that he hadn’t thought of in awhile, hadn’t allowed himself to consider in over a decade: “ _Freunde_.”

Friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @ Liam O’Brian let Caleb love his friends u ass  
> (Jk I love literally every character choice Liam makes for Caleb I just..... HE LOVES HIS FRIENDS)  
> Hope y’all enjoyed! Maybe if we all pray enough Molly will come back

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Comments and kudos are always SUPER appreciated!
> 
> I will try to update regularly!


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